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GOD’S WORD FOR APRIL 8 ~ ~ “John 19:30~ ~ “So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.”

He was gone. Her son, her life. She had lost her dear husband Joseph, and now she lost her favorite son. She thought, “that sounds unfair. I have others. There is James, Joses (Joseph) , Simon and Jude, besides the girls ”

Mark 6:3

“Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?” So they were offended at Him.”

But she couldn’t deny it. She knew how He was conceived. She remembered the day the angel visited her, and told her that He would be conceived by the Holy Spirit, while she was still a virgin. The angel even told her to name Him Yeshua.(Jesus)

Luke 1:35

“And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.”

Luke 1:31

“And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus.


She loved her other children that she and Joseph had, but she had things tucked away in her heart about Yeshua that were different, dear, and mysterious. Not the least of these was what old Simeon, the prophet at the temple, said at Yeshua’s circumcision ceremony when He was just 8 days old:

Luke 2:34

“Then Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary His mother, “Behold, this Child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which will be spoken against”

That changed and framed her whole life. “Of course He was my favorite, how could He not be?” He is the Son of God, maybe even the Messiah my people have been waiting for for thousands of years!!!” She was again overcome with the great expanse of God’s plan and her small part in it, as she fell to her knees in grief and reverence.

“But why?” There, on her knees she pleaded for answers. “Why did it come to this? We were never taught that the Hamashiach, (Messiah) would die—-and like THIS? I just don’t understand! Why did He change in the last few years? We were so close.”

She paused, and remembered those few years of late when He seemed to pull away from her, when she and the rest of the family wanted to talk with Him. “We were concerned” She told herself, “because He was acting strangely, and people were starting to talk about him being possessed or crazy.

I was so terrified of that!

I told my other sons that we need to talk to Him ourselves and see how He is. None of my other children believe in Yeshua. Perhaps there is some envy, perhaps some are ashamed. Perhaps they were responding to the taunts of their peers on the streets in their confusion and ignorance. I am grateful, though, that I detect a slight interest in Yeshua’s teachings in my James and Jude. They don’t believe in Him, nothing like that, but at least they aren’t against Him like the others. James is a worker. He believes in hard work, and showing loyalty, love and faith through that work. Jude is more of a thinker. He is just as loyal and faithful, but expresses it more in the line of the spirit world. They are both very good boys.

I remember when we sent word into the house Yeshua was ministering in, but He wouldn’t speak to us. He said that we were no more important to Him than all the other people.”

Matthew 12:48-50

 “But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?”  And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”

She sighed, “This hurts a mother, but, like all the other joys, pains and mysteries in His life, I will keep this, too, in my heart.”

She stood up then, and thought, “ I guess I should be glad about that. It showed me that He wasn’t crazy, or possessed. He was just doing the will of Elohim, His Father. I don’t need to understand it.” She paused and thought for a moment. “ and that reminds me of the incident when Yeshua was —ohhh, I’d guess about 12 years old—-and we were on the road back from Jerusalem, we’d been to the Temple. He stayed back, and when we finally found Him, He was TEACHING THE SCRIBES!!! He said to us:

Luke 2:49

“And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”

I should have understood that, I guess, but I couldn’t. I was His mother, I was entrusted with His care, and a mother takes that seriously—-especially the mother of this Divine child!! So I scolded him for scaring us so, and we went home. This was another mystery I would not soon unravel.”

She felt a little better now. She understood that she couldn’t understand, and that was OK.

But in the next moment, the wave of grief came over her again, as grief always does, over and over again.

“How well did Simeon prophesy, back these 30 or so years, in the temple, when Joseph was with me, I was young, ….so long ago……when Yeshua was a tiny baby in my loving arms………….Simeon said:

Luke 2:35

“(yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

She again dropped to her knees, “ ‘THAT the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed’? What did those words mean?” She knew the sword. She’s feeling it now. It hurts! The sword of loss, of grief, of emptiness. “Sure, I have all those other children. I love them, but, in the course of nature, they have their own lives, their own spouses. Yeshua always was closest to me. But now, He is destined to reveal hearts. Is that what Your Messiah was going to do, Elohim? Was He the Hamashiach, (Messiah)? Then why did He die? OH, Elohim, Why did He die?”

She didn’t expect an answer. She sat down and cried for a while.

Just then John knocked on the door, and entered at her response, sitting near her in silence.

John, her new son, given to her by Yeshua, Himself at the foot of the cross. Although no one could fill the gap, she was grateful for the company, companionship, strength and love that John radiated around himself.

“He is so gentle, and genuinely loving.” she thought as she watched him nervously looking around, not knowing what to say, but wanting to help. “He was Yeshua’s choice, so I know he will help me through this. He loved Him so much—–more than all the others, I think. He was called “the beloved disciple” by the others, and they didn’t even seem jealous of him. Perhaps that is because he is younger, and Yeshua took him to Himself like a younger brother. Perhaps, too, that is why he entrusted my welfare to him. I am grateful. He can teach me much that I missed when I was home with the younger children, and he traveled with my Yeshua. I know he will do that. Maybe he can help me understand”

She talked with John then for a while, and gave him some refreshments. They grieved together, and reminisced about their mutual beloved One, Yeshua. Neither understood, but John spent hours telling her of the teachings of Yeshua their brother and son!!!! It was a bittersweet time, and, yes, she was beginning to see a glimmer of understanding of Yeshua’s ministry. But there was much that they both must learn.

Sleep didn’t come easily for either of them, despite the total exhaustion. She had moved in with John, so they could both be helpful and comforting to each other. It was comforting for her to have him in the next room, but, still, her sleep was fitful. She woke up so many times, thinking it was a horrible dream, then it would hit her like a hammer——that it’s not a dream, it’s TRUE!!! But, with the grief there was a peace that she felt. Maybe it was Yeshua’s own words coming through John that evening, or maybe it was the peace of Jehovah Elohim comforting her at this time. She would doze off again…………..

Softly, they both said “layla tov,” (Good night)

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