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Please bear with me in this post.  It may sound harsh at first, but, truly, it is with a loving heart that I say these things out of personal experience, and from God’s Word.   The Lord showed me these things in my circumstances of living with abuse for 34 years, and it is the same with everyone.

Look to Jesus, not to yourself for your identity, and strength. Learn who you are in Christ Jesus, not who you are to your husband. Don’t identify yourself with his moods. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE AND HIS WORDS CAN’T CHANGE THAT. Those are probably the most profound words you will come to know. Like me, it may take you a long time to really realize that. If you are a true born again Christian, you are the Princess of the Universe!!! Your Father is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords. You are a daughter of the Creator of the Universe and beyond. Don’t let that thought leave you in the midst of your relationship. You are to submit to your husband as far as he is obedient to your REAL husband, your Father Creator, and you are to ALWAYS submit to Him. (see previous blog, “Thy Maker is Thy Husband”)

My (then) husband at that time didn’t allow me to go to church, but that only made me seek the Lord more. Many of you may be in a situation where your husband controls your going and coming. Remember, he can control you outside, but he cannot control you inside. You can worship ‘til the rafters rise’ inside your heart and mind. The Lord told me at the time that a church service involves three things: Learning, Worship, and Fellowship. The first two are necessary, and can be done anywhere, anytime, especially now days with all the free sermons on the internet, and of course, the pure Word itself. Worship can be silent, in our hearts, if doing it aloud is going to cause problems. Fellowship in a church service is the ‘icing on the cake’ the Lord told me, and then He said, “But, I am the Bread of Life”……..which would you rather have… and comforting fellowship with other believers, or the life sustaining, spiritually nourishing Bread that only Your Lord can give you?

So, don’t think that just because you aren’t allowed to go to church, that you are missing out on knowing the Lord. In fact, He not only draws closer to those who can’t, but He is also able to use our husbands for that purpose……to force us to develop a strong personal relationship with Him to get through our situations and be a stronger, better person in the end. Too many people think that they fulfill their Christian duty by going to church, sitting there and listening to the pastor telling them what the Lord told HIM, because HE put time into reading the Word and fellowshipping with the Lord. Now, tell me what’s wrong with this picture……Why don’t WE put that time in with our Lord and let Him tell US what WE need to hear specifically for us, instead of sleepily listening to what He told someone else???!!!!

If every Christian would do that, we would have the Church that the Lord wants as His Bride.

And, while we’re on the subject of God using our husbands, lets explore that a little further. Remember, he was created by God, too, and, even if he is not a born again Christian, he is, in a sense, a child of God and the Lord knows him. He knows his heart and his needs, what drives him to do what he does.

He can’t do what He wants to in your husband’s heart because of the closed door, but He is watching, He is present every moment of your lives. Sometimes, in our role as the abused spouse, we can get a little arrogant. We imagine that in the Lord’s eyes, when he looks upon our situation, that we are the “favorite”.

Well, I’m here to knock that idea right out of your head. You may not want to hear this, but you’re going to, because its what we all need to hear, and what God says.

We are no better than our abusive husbands…..There it is….did you hear that? “But….but……” Nope….we aren’t.

God loves him as much as He loves you…….His heart breaks as much with your spiritual complacency as with your husband’s meanness. The Bible says in Luke 12:

I can’t emphasize this enough:  I am not saying you CAUSED the situation, but I am saying that God has no favorites.

Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto
whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

This means that since we are saved, and have the Holy Spirit in us, we should be listening and obeying…..growing daily in our knowledge of Him.

An unsaved person, however, does not have that advantage. He doesn’t have the Law hidden in him, so he is judged according to what he does know. The Lord expects much more from you than your husband, if you are saved and he isn’t. Only God knows how he is dealing with what he is given. So, you see, maybe we aren’t the “favorite” after all. We are the ones who should be on our faces before God, repenting of many things, and therefore, turning this whole situation around toward God. Don’t expect him to do that, he isn’t able to, ….. If he was, you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place, right????? The ball is in your court, Girl… the one to turn this around, to give it to the Lord and let Him change you both…..starting with YOU!!!!

Say with Joshua, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”   God will use you as the lighthouse for your marriage.

May God continue to bless you!!!



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